I printed an article a few years ago about the Domestic Home Land Terrorist Watch List

I’m reprinting it today due to S1867 so that people have an idea of just who might be about to “vanish”, and why

Subsequent articles in this series will not doubt cover the Patriot Act and S1867

Part 1.

A friend of mine just mentioned that he’s already on the DHS watchlist, so I got to wondering just how many times am I on that list ?

Before I continue, I must give a warning about my language on this one

I swear a lot when I vent…

It’s obviously not a complete list, as they left out 2 important groups

Unborn babies, and dead people

Well, 3 actually

Wiccans aren’t on this list either

Lets go thru this list and see where each of us falls, shall we ?

Above ground – Term used to describe extremist groups or individuals who act within the law

Excuse me ?

So, if you don’t break the law, yer a terrorist ?

That makes 1 for me…

Alternative media- Various information sources that provide a forum for interpretations of events and issues that differ from those presented in mass media

So, what, if you don’t get your news from cnn or msnbc, yer a terrorist ?

Watch out DailySok readers, that means you, and maybe Matt Drudge

Anarchist extremism- groups or individuals who advocate a society devoid of governmental structure. Many embrace anticapitalism, antiglobalization, communist, socialist

Uh, yea, right. Show me one anarchist who supports communism

Please

Just one

Seriously, if you’re an anarchist who supports communism, you don’t know what communism is

Go read the Communist Manifesto, you’ll love it

Animal rights- groups or individuals who ascribe equal value to all living organisms and seek to end abuse and suffering of animals. They believe animals are sentient creatures that experience emotional, physical and mental awareness

Ok, I’m not an animal rights activist, but, I do have a cat, and I know he has awareness and feelings

Anti-abortion- groups or individuals who are virulently antiabortion, and advocate violence against abortion providers

Ok, that one makes sense

Anti-immigration- Groups or individuals who are vehemently opposed to illegal immigration

“opposed to illegal immigration” ????

Who writes this shit ?

Why are people who are opposed to something illegal being called terrorists ?

Ok, that’s 2…

Who cares, I’m still in the A’s

Antitechnology- groups or individuals opposed to technology. Also known as Neo-Luddites, or the Amish, which, I mean, seriously, they’ve got a horse and buggy, and the government has a computer controlled TANK… that can see in the dark… and target you from an invisible drone

How are these people a threat ?

Are you afraid that they’ll lob gobs of horse shit at you ?

What are you afraid of ?

Aryan prison gangs- individuals who form organized groups while in prison and advocate white supremacist views

Yep. You gotta watch out for a bunch of guys who are stuck behind bars

Black Bloc-Organized collection of anarchists who band together…

LOL

“anarchists banding together”

That’s just funny

Anarchists don’t band together

They’re ANARCHISTS for crying out loud

Black nationalism- term used by black separatists to … promote the establishment of a separate nation within the united states

Black power- term used by black separatists to describe their pride in and the perceived superiority of the black race

You mean it’s possible for a black person to be a racist ?

Shocking !

Black separatists- …

Been covered

Christian Identity- racist religious philosophy that maintains that non-Jewish whites are “God’s Chosen people” and the true descendants of the Twelve Tribes of Israel

Um, guys, that would make you… JEWISH, not Christian

Think about it

Seriously, who thinks this shit up ?

Cuban independence- groups or individuals who do not recognize the legitimacy of the Communist Cuban Government and who attempt to subvert it through acts of violence within the United States

Yea, right. A few bombs go off in the US and Castro is just gonna up and quit being a dictator

What a frikken FANTASY LAND these people live in…

Decentralized terrorist movement- groups or individuals who pursue shared ideological goals through tactics of leaderless resistance independent of any larger terrorist group

What the… ?

Are they just throwing random words together ?

What does that even mean ?

I don’t think I’ll count that one though because I have no idea what it means

Denial of service attack

(This is also known as a DDOS attack. It’s where hackers take the zombie computers they’ve taken control of thru spyware and viruses and make them all attack one single website, eating up all the bandwidth, thus not allowing normal traffic to flow, thus effectively shutting down the website)

Direct action- lawful or unlawful acts of civil disobedience

Ok, now Ghandi and Martin Luther King are terrorists too

I think that maybe that makes 3…

Or 4. Who knows…

Environmental extremism- groups or individuals who use acts of violence to end what they perceive as degradation of the natural environment by humans.

Also known as ecoterrorism, also known as “Agenda 21″, but, they’re sanctioned by the United Nations, so they’re okay

Ethnic based extremism- groups or individuals who are drawn together and form extremist beliefs based on their cultural background

Also known as racists (see also: Archie Bunker)

Extremist groups-… Blah blah blah, lumping them all together now, aren’t ya ?

Green anarchism- groups or individuals who combine an anarchist ideology with an environmental focus

Wasn’t that covered under ecoterrorism ?

Hacktivism- The use of cyber technologies to achieve a political end. Hactivism might include defacement of websites, DoS attacks, hacking into the target’s network to introduce malicious software (malware) or information theft

LOL !

I didn’t even know hacktivism was a WORD !!

I’m gonna hafta check Merriam Webster on that one

Hate groups- blah blah blah racists

Jewish extremism- Also known as self defense

Leaderless resistance- strategy that stresses the importance of individuals and small cells acting independently and anonymously outside formalized organizational structures

More random words that have no business being in the same sentence

However, I think it covers me tho, maybe, so that’s 5

Left wing extremism- groups or individuals that embrace Communist or Socialist doctrines and seeks to bring about CHANGE through violent revolution rather than through the established political process. (also: far left, extreme left)

Whoa, the president is a terrorist ???

Lone terrorist- blah blah blah, I guess that would be Timothy McVeigh. I think Lee Harvey Oswold is also one

Yea, they acted alone, didn’t they ?

Right ?

(The government TOLD us they acted alone, so it MUST be true)

Mexican separatism- groups or individuals who advocate the secession of the southwestern United States to join with Mexico

Uh, what ?

Guys, if Texas secedes from the Union, it will no longer be part of the United States, and will no longer give away the free stuff that you guys have been looking for !

What the hell are you thinking ?

Holy shit, if this group actually exists, there can’t be 12 brain cells between them

Militia movement- (my bullshit-o-meter is going off the scale on this one) right wing extremist group composed of individuals who adhere to an antigovernment ideology (also known as the Constitution) often incorporating various conspiracy theories (which are mostly true). Members oppose most federal and state laws, (because they’re fucking un-Constitutional !!) regulations and authority, particularly firearms laws and regulations

Did any of you people ever even READ the Constitution ???????

Have you ever heard of the Second Amendment ??

The Heller decision stated that the Second Amendment states that a citizen HAS THE RIGHT to keep and bear arms for the defense of his home

That one I’m sure of, that’s 6…

Neo-nazis-blah blah blah.

They’re NAZI’s! Do I have to say more ?

Crackpots who nobody ever listens to

And thank God for that

Patriot Movement- (yer setting off my bullshit-o-meter again…) term used by right wing extremists to link their beliefs to those commonly associated with the American revolution. The Patriot Movement primarily comprises violent (bullshit) antigovernment (anti BIG government) groups such as militias and sovereign citizens. (see also : Christian Patriots, patriot group, Constitutionalists, Constitutionists)

I believe that the country was founded on the Constitution, and that the government should FOLLOW the Constitution, and that makes me a fucking terrorist
?

These people make my blood boil

And yes, that’s 7…

Phineas Priesthood- A Christian Identity doctrine derived from the Biblical story of Phineas, which adherents interpret as justifying inter-racial killing

Ok, those guys are terrorists

Puerto Rican independence extremists- Groups or individualists who engage in criminal activity and advocate Puerto Rican independence

LOL

Guys, if ya want Puerto Rico back, you can have it

And take Washington D.C. too while yer at it, will ya ?

Sheesh

Racial Nordic mysticism- …

Oh for Pete’s sake. I once prayed that Thor would drop his hammer on your stupid head, so I’m a terrorist

That’s 8

Racist skinheads- Dress code includes Doc Martens, bomber jacket, and tattoos

Wow, now being a terrorist is based on how you dress

That’s just fucked up

(I can’t believe somebody actually got PAID to think this shit up)

Right wing extremism- movement of right wing groups or individuals who can be broadly divided into those who are primarily hate- oriented, (who wrote this shit?) and those who are mainly anti-government and reject federal authority in favor of state or local authority. (see also: far right, extreme right)

This would be the 10th amendment people…

Yes, I reject federal authority in favor of state and local authority. It’s written in the Constitution, and there’s a reason it’s written there

To stop you idiots from taking over

The job of the federal government is to protect and defend the country as a whole.

Not turn it into the united states of Russia

The states were supposed to be sovereign you

Did anybody actually read this before you guys printed it ?

And yes, that makes 9…

skinheads- blah blah blah

So, now, anybody who’s bald is a fucking terrorist ?

That certainly explains William Shatner’s toupee…

Sovereign citizen movement- right wing extremist movement composed of groups or individualists who reject the notion of U.S. citizenship. They claim to follow only what they believe to be God’s law or common law and the original 10 Amendments (Bill of Rights) to the Constitution

Exactly what about following the Constitution is it that makes me a terrorist ?

Okay, that’s 10…

Tax resistance movement- groups or individualists who vehemently believe that taxes violate their Constitutional Rights (which they do). Among their beliefs are that wages
are not income, paying taxes is voluntary, and that the 16th Amendment, which allowed Congress to levy taxes, was not properly ratified.

Gee, those wacky right wingers, always asking us to follow the Constitution

Yea, ok, I guess that’s 11…

Underground- term used to describe clandestine extremist groups, individuals, or their activities

What does that even mean ?

Any group you don’t know about is underground ?

Do we have to register as a group or something now ?

Violent religious groups-Religious groups predisposed toward violence

How come Islamofascist isn’t on this list anywhere ?

Maybe you could call them muslim terrorists, I mean, SOMETHING. Put them on the list already damn it

So this was part 1. At some point I intend to actually get into the nuts and bolts of S1867 and the related bills…

Stay tuned